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Topic : 06/26 Twisted Love

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Created on : Friday, January 27, 2006, 02:41:03 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 02/02/06) Charles says he has exhausted his relationship with his wife of 19 years, and he's ready to try an alternative lifestyle. Instead of getting a divorce, Charles wants to explore polyfidelity -- a relationship where he is shared between his wife and his mistress. The mistress says she'll give it a try, but his wife, Tracy, says the thought makes her sick. Can Charles convince his wife to share him for the sake of their marriage? And what does Dr. Phil think? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

 

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elwood
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January 29, 2006, 2:04 pm PST

Uhhh...

Polyfidelity??!  I'm pretty sure that's called infidelity.  Charles has got to be kidding.  I hope Dr. Phil tears him a new one.
 
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missmouth
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January 29, 2006, 2:23 pm PST

my opinion on the wife's perspective

What part about it isn't sick?  So, in her opinion, it's ok that he has has sex with another woman just as long as they don't co-exist with him?   She's already sharing him, per say, so what exactly is the differance?   She either  needs to kick him out and get a life for herself or go shopping for a california king.  Make a stand and move on. 
 
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juliebgg
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January 30, 2006, 5:22 am PST

Hmmmm

Quote From: elwood

Polyfidelity??!  I'm pretty sure that's called infidelity.  Charles has got to be kidding.  I hope Dr. Phil tears him a new one.
I wonder what HE would say if she told him she wanted him to share HER with other guys!!!!
 
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rebeccamo
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January 30, 2006, 2:18 pm PST

Similar situation

My husband has hinted around that he would like to do something similar.  He doesn't want to keep a mistress, but would rather be allowed to have an affair so that he can experience the things he would really like to do that I won't do for him.  He feels that he if gets them out of his system things will be fine.  He cannot guarantee me that he wouldn't want to keep doing it though.  He swears that if I am not o.k. with it he won't do it, but then he keeps pressuring me to do things that I am just not comfortable with or desire to do.  We have been married along time and I know that I have to help keeps things lively and fresh, but I either do what he wants or allow him to go somewhere else to get it.  What choice do I have?  I am afraid one day he will just grow tired of the same old routine and leave.  His other suggestion is for us to go to a swingers club and pick up another woman.  He says it isn't cheating if we're doing it together.  I asked if he would really want to kiss and have sex with another woman and his answer was yes.  Outside of this we have a happy and wonderful marriage.  He is a great father, wonderful provider and showers me with attention.  He just claims to have such a high sex drive that he needs more than what I am currently offering.  Any suggestions?
 
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tracyl60
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January 30, 2006, 3:24 pm PST

Same situtation

Quote From: rebeccamo

My husband has hinted around that he would like to do something similar.  He doesn't want to keep a mistress, but would rather be allowed to have an affair so that he can experience the things he would really like to do that I won't do for him.  He feels that he if gets them out of his system things will be fine.  He cannot guarantee me that he wouldn't want to keep doing it though.  He swears that if I am not o.k. with it he won't do it, but then he keeps pressuring me to do things that I am just not comfortable with or desire to do.  We have been married along time and I know that I have to help keeps things lively and fresh, but I either do what he wants or allow him to go somewhere else to get it.  What choice do I have?  I am afraid one day he will just grow tired of the same old routine and leave.  His other suggestion is for us to go to a swingers club and pick up another woman.  He says it isn't cheating if we're doing it together.  I asked if he would really want to kiss and have sex with another woman and his answer was yes.  Outside of this we have a happy and wonderful marriage.  He is a great father, wonderful provider and showers me with attention.  He just claims to have such a high sex drive that he needs more than what I am currently offering.  Any suggestions?
I would love to talk to you.  I am the woman on the show Thrusday.  I am new to the message boards, is there a way to send a private message so I can give you my contact information? 
 
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msswayne
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January 30, 2006, 3:56 pm PST

My Husband is doing that

I have conforted him  about different things in our life and he has a excluse and a lie for everthing I bring up. I have self esteem and dont understand why. He is putting us financially in debt   

He is buying things to cover up what he is doing like why he is not answering his phone in the hotel room.  I could go on and on I am a working housewife who has a decent job and trying to make ends meet but cant get money saved up because of his spending is out of control.  

I am not sure what to do any more.   He like being with both of us tell each one of us he loves us and he has sex with both of us.  but  he does not really know I know all of this I have confronted him with things going on. but I cant get him to confess to it. all . he is telling lies upon lies.  
 
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aviaquip

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January 30, 2006, 5:34 pm PST

02/02 Twisted Love

Quote From: tracyl60

I would love to talk to you.  I am the woman on the show Thrusday.  I am new to the message boards, is there a way to send a private message so I can give you my contact information? 

Ladies, Ladies, Ladies, 

  

This is called an "open" relationship.  OPEN THE DOOR AND KICK HIM OUT.  Call it what he wants.  He wants to have, or is already having an affair.  If he really, really, loved you he wouldn't be tomcatting around.  He wants to have a bit on the side and not go thru the divorce - just in case it's not a green on the other side he can say "I was wrong honey, let it just be you and me" 

  

Yeah Right. 

Good luck with your decision but for me there is only one road.   
 
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zapatasred
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January 30, 2006, 7:38 pm PST

Synthetic Marriage?

Hey Mr. -is polyfidelity like polyester -a synthetic or made up marriage? Sounds like you made up a good one for your wife to buy. I think you don't want to lose income with a divorce . Your  wife    is already sharing you with the mistress. Is the mistress pressuring you to get a divorce for her? Maybe the wife will take you to the cleaners and get rid of that "polyfidelity" !!!!!! . I wonder what you do for a living? The crapometer is  flashing a bright red light and loud piercing alarm on this one.
 
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hollyster3
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January 30, 2006, 8:01 pm PST

02/02 Twisted Love

Quote From: msswayne

I have conforted him  about different things in our life and he has a excluse and a lie for everthing I bring up. I have self esteem and dont understand why. He is putting us financially in debt   

He is buying things to cover up what he is doing like why he is not answering his phone in the hotel room.  I could go on and on I am a working housewife who has a decent job and trying to make ends meet but cant get money saved up because of his spending is out of control.  

I am not sure what to do any more.   He like being with both of us tell each one of us he loves us and he has sex with both of us.  but  he does not really know I know all of this I have confronted him with things going on. but I cant get him to confess to it. all . he is telling lies upon lies.  

I am so sorry to hear. My dad is sort of like that. you really need to just divorce him. hes lieing to you, and i dont know you, but you deserve better. You should tell him everything you know that he does, so he at least knows. You do not need him to be putting you through this. your life would be better without him. just think about it.
 
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southern1
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January 30, 2006, 8:30 pm PST

bye-bye charles

Sorry, but Charles is not only not "all that" but he isn't even half of that. Go straight to a divorce lawyer and let Charles explain all this to a judge. 
 
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