Topic : 06/19 Pressured Into Marriage

Age does make you wiser.  I can honestly tell you I have the same basic personality as I did as a child but being 41, and living life as an independent adult for 23 yrs, does change you.  I am also a firm believer in getting a college education, it is important and shouldn't be trivialized.  Nobody is guaranteed that the spouse or father of child will live a full 18-21 yrs while the children are being raised.  Again repeating myself my father died @ 26 and my mom had 3 children to care for.  before i'd say the mid 1960s that is what you did, married extremely young.  now women have more options and they should get an education and keep their skills up - there are absolutely no guarantees in life! 

Also, although I have never had children, I took a college class called Human Growth and Development.  I believe it is wise if you decide to have children to take child development courses.  even in the class i mentioned we learned a little how children see the world and that would help adults whose only requirement to become parents is to have healthy reproductive organs and the desire to have sex. 

Pegtohl, 

I apologize for offending you.  Please realize that on an internet message board, including this one, opinions are the majority of what you're going to read/hear. As a guest on the show, you can't expect to be free from that. If you read posts from shows past, so many posts are about the guest. If I had something that your perceived as being positive, you would never have replied to anything I have to say. 

In my original post, I do not believe that I said anything about you personally, it just reminded me of all the people who feel that women should have children asap. I know now that it's just a cute game that you play with your son and your friend's daughter, I know that although you would be over joyed if they were to date you'll love them both no matter what they decide.  The show just struck a nerve in me. During the original airing time, so many people, most that I didn't know lectured me on my choices ( mostly negative ). So, I can easily see now why you became so fired up..similar to how I got so fired up when Abbydabby said something to the effec that since I've been with my husband for 8 yrs that we should be having kids because "that's what people do". 

As I do my best to see things from your perspective, I do sincerely apologize. You can take my apology for what ever you want, but realize that  have no hostile feelings towards you, but my hostility is more towards the subject. Looking back on what I wrote, for some of it I do not fault you at all for being upset with me. Please accept my apology. 

Point taken. I respect your opinion and I also respect my boyfriend and I do love him. However, he is in his mid 40's. While I respect his beliefs etecetra on this issue, I don't always feel that my feelings or thoughts are respected. I am not willing to hang around indefinitely - a loving and working relationship has to be based on mutuality.  As we are not even engaged yet, I have to be realistic and set myself a deadline. 

Frances34 

I was really surprised to see this reply. I do accept your apology whole hearted. I live in a small town and while most were supportive and realized it was a fun little joke that we have had with the two kids for a very long time. There were others that felt the need to judge. Which upset my son. He and Shelbi had a blast, we got to spend Halloween in LA right on the walk of fame. We had a limo driver take us on a tour of the stars homes. It was just so much fun. To this day Trevor and Shelbi still will introduce each other as the others fiance'. They are happy and healthy teenagers. What upsets teenagers is to have their mothers parenting questioned (when they know they have good mothers) that is what upset me most was people judging me for taking Trevor on "Dr. Phil" and "Traumatizing" him. So when I read the message boards I was still a little raw. I think it takes a very big person to apologize and I admire you for it. I think we both learned a lesson here and that is what really matters, that we take the time to learn the lessons each day has in store for us. You  could have went on with your life and never gave it another thought .. but you didn't you took the time to explain and apologize, that is really rare... Wouldn't it be great if more people were like you? Thanks again. Have a great life as I know someone like you, has to have a good life your to smart to do otherwise.

       Peggy Tohl

If you had been listening you would have heard, THIS IS A JOKE, WE ARE TEASING THEM, WE PRETEND THEY ARE AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE. Still to this day they have fun with this. introducing each other as the others fiance' So don't get so serious onme and you need to realize just because your parents wer not supporticve of you and pressured you into something you were not ready for, don't put that on me. I love my Son and I love shelbi, they are both really good kids and will make their own decisions in life. That includes who they decide to marry. Take care of yours, I'll take care of mine.

                                   Mother of the Boy

I am amazed at how many people watched this show and still didn't get it. IT'S A JOKE, WE ARE TEASING THEM, ITS A ARRANGED MARRIAGE THAT ISN'T REALLY ARRANGED AT ALL.

Come on lady get a grip. I love my son and Marcy loves her daughter and this is just a joke. These kids are very close and very good friends, they are more like Brother and Sister than anything else. We all know that in reality they are both going to pick mates on their own in their own time frame.

I can not believe intelligent adults after watching the show would actually think we are doing any damage to our children. My son spent Halloween in Hollywood on the walk of fame. We all got to go on a private tour of the stars homes in a limo. we were treated well and had an awesome time. The kids couldn't believe we got this great all expense paid trip just because their mothers tease them about an arranged marriage that will never happen. Still think there was any harm done? Oh and did I mention they were both the most popular kids in each of their schools for the next couple  of months

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