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Topic : 05/30 Pretty/Ugly

Number of Replies: 1324
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Created on : Friday, September 09, 2005, 03:43:52 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 09/16/05) How important do you think looks really are? And, do you think attractive people get treated better in society? Dr. Phil's son, Jay, goes out in  disguise to see if people really do judge a book by its cover. You won't believe the results, nor the response that surprised him the most! Plus, Debi favors her older daughter because she’s "beautiful" and treats her youngest like "dirt" because she's "fat and unattractive." Can Dr. Phil help her love both girls equally? And, Michelle only lets her daughter play with pretty kids on the playground because she equates beauty with success in life. Will she learn to re-evaluate her standards? Tell us your thoughts on today's show.

 

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June 3, 2006, 5:44 am CDT

Bodygaurd

  

  

 

 

  

Well me and my friend,, we're like the Best friends ever, in personality,, she's the prettiest, when we walk together in the mall or something, she is no. (1), and I'm (0)… so we're no. 10, but the looks that she get is normal, because she's attractive, but the look I get is like I'm her bodyguard, it's natural in this thing. But when she get to know a boyfriend or something, she is treated like a Queen, but me, I get the EXCATLY vise-versa in my relationships although we both have the exactly same personality, kindness and the way we talk.. However, she have the better chance to be with better people, while I, I get boyfriend who keeps making fun of me.

  

 

  

  

 

 

  

So my opinion is, Yes there's difference in treatment,, even by ugly people.. they treat attractive people better than ugly..

  

 

 

  

 
June 3, 2006, 8:43 am CDT

agree!!! that person should be ashamed!

Quote From: futuremga

YOU KNOW I AM SURPRISED I EVEN STOPPED TO COMMENT ON WHAT YOU SAID.   iF I WAS YOUR FRIEND I WOULDN'T SPEAK TO YOU ANYMORE.  INSTEAD OF CRITIZING AND DEMEANING YOUR FRIEND ENCOURAGE HIM.  INTRODUCE THIS PERSON TO A DIFFERENT WAY OF EATING, EXERCISING, AND HEALTHY THINKING.  SOMETIMES PEOPLE, LIKE ME, GO THROUGH "SPELLS" IN THEIR LIFE WHERE THEY DON'T FEEL CONFIDENTABOUT DECISIONS IN THEIR LIVES.  SO CUT THIS PERSON SOME SLACK, STOP BEING SO JUDGEMENTAL AND PESTIMISTIC ABOUT HIS BEHAVIOR.  AND PEOPLE THAT ARE OVERWEIGHT ARE NOT BIG FAT LAZY, GOOD FOR NOTHING STACKERS THAT YOU SAY THEY ARE.  GET TO KNOW HIM INSTEAD OF ALL THE STEROTYPES THAT SOCIETY PERPETUATES ABOUT OVER WEIGHT PEOPLE. 

I would ditch that "friend" so fast!!!  What an attitude! And the comment about heavy people being lazy and unwilling to work for things-give me a break!  These people usually have to work much harder for things because of shallow discrimination against them.  I've seen more beauty queens guilty of not working for things and using their looks instead to manipulate people.  I agree too that it would be much more helpful if this person offered encouragement rather than  being demeaning.  But I doubt that will ever happen based on the attitude of that person.
 
June 3, 2006, 9:45 am CDT

Debbie is clearly an abuser

I'm not sure anyone can help this mother and the child who is being neglected will still not be protected by anyone.  I'm hoping that the appropriate authorities become involved and salvage this child's self-esteem.
 
June 3, 2006, 1:16 pm CDT

A most confusing segment

Dear Dr. Phil and fellow Dr. Phil-ophiles,  

  

I found this segment one of the most confusing of recent broadcasts.   

  

I completely understand that Jay was treated much differently in the makeup of an unattractive, slightly overweight and unkempt person than he is, as himself--but beyond that, I am not sure what the point was.  

  

Attractive people ARE treated differently than unattractive people. THAT is not news as far as I am aware. Jay said he initially "felt" the same in the makeup as he does without it, but as he became increasingly aware that his appearance was repellent to people he tried unsuccessfully to engage, he actually began to FEEL differently about himself. Jay's own real personality was intact, but because no one would acknowledge him he was unable display his personality. His real personality never surfaced because the people he encountered couldn't get past his displeasing appearance and therefore avoided any kind of interaction with him that would serve to bring out his real personality.   

  

I think somewhere in the show it was mentioned (honestly, I would have to re-watch it to know for certain) that we need to see beyond the surface of an individual's appearance and value each person for WHO they are rather than what they may look like. IF that was mentioned, it certainly wasn't emphasized. Maybe someone here can refresh my memory?  

  

At the end of the show when the credits were running I heard Dr. Phil say to Jay, something like, " . . . well, you WERE really creepy-looking." I was rather taken aback by that. What does that REALLY SAY to people who actually look like Jay did with the makeup on?   

  

Not everyone is born attractive, and among those who aren't, few can financially afford to do what could be done for them in order to LOOK more attractive. So--do we discount those "creepy-looking" individuals who can't afford plastic surgery, dental veneers, designer haircuts, or personal trainers to help them stay fit looking, and clothes that will make the most of their best attributes?  

  

And we're back to the original premise: Attractive people are treated differently and usually considered more "worthy." Unattractive people are much more challenged to prove their worth.  

  

Thanks for listening to my take on this. I'm still trying to figure out what the REAL message of the segment  was. If I need to be set straight on this (gently, please!) or if you have further insights, please reply. 

  

alleysally 

 
June 3, 2006, 4:01 pm CDT

Overcoming obstacles

Quote From: catlady1

I am very sad that these people on the show, especially the mother that gave more atttention to her one daughter and not the other daughter. First of all, she should be grateful that her daughter is alive and well. And not putting her down, because of the skin disease and because she doesn't like her ex husband... That is the lamest excuse that I have ever heard. I was born with several disabilities, and the 8th child to be born in 1975, with my issues, and now there are about 65 cases in the entire world. My disabilities is called CerebralCoscoMandibularSyndrome. Yes I know, it's a mouthful. I've had several surgeries to "correct" these problems, and still dealing with the emotional scars from rude people, and so called "friends" from my peer group. I've faced many discriminations from people on the street, at the mall, and even more so when I am trying to get a job. The doctors told my parents to put me in an institution because they feared that I would be mentally retarded. Well I am not mentally retarted and have a very good IQ. And I have over 15 yrs of work experience, but people don't care, they want the best looking person to hire, to marry, and etc. I am not going to settle for any reason or nothing at all. I am sorry, but I was raised to be loving and considerate to all races, disabled people, and etc. I treat others with the same respect that I should get. These people on the show on this day, are self absorbed that they can't even see beyond their noses. I would never teach my kids(if I have any) to treat others like that, and I certainly would not teach my kids to be snobs to other people. Those kids need help emotionally. Because I can see from my point of view, that they will be scarred for life, and the daughter with the skin disease, I feel bad for her. I know what it is like to have people put you down, even your own parents doing that. I "hang" out with the adults better, because they treat me better than my own peer group. I am now 30 years old. My parents were also told that I may not live beyond age 1. Here I am at almost 31 yrs of age. And still going strong. Society needs to get their heads out of their butts, and get a grip, and know that not everyone is super model material, or superstar material, and that there is all kinds of disabilities, different sizes, and many colors of people, and that we all need to get along better. That would be nice, but I know that is not going to happen in my lifetime, probably not at all. 

Shannon 

It sounds like you have a lot to be proud of, since you have been able overcome such obstacles in life!  It also sounds like you are a strong person, who won't let what other people do keep you from going on with life. I'm glad to hear you say that you're "not going to settle" too! NO ONE should! EVERYONE deserves to be loved for who they are!   

   

I know that many people make life hard for anyone who isn't "perfect", and I know that it can be hard to get ahead in life because of that. The things that we have to overcome can either make or break us. We have to choose whether to give up, or to keep going. It can be VERY hard to keep going, and sometimes we are about ready to give up, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel if we keep on pushing ahead.  

   

One thing to remember too is that what one person considers "ugly", someone else will think is "pretty". Everyone has their "flaws", and no one is better than anyone else. We're all wonderful, unique creations...and really should be thought of as such. You said... "Society needs to get their heads out of their butts, and get a grip, and know that not everyone is super model material, or superstar material, and that there is all kinds of disabilities, different sizes, and many colors of people, and that we all need to get along better. That would be nice, but I know that is not going to happen in my lifetime, probably not at all."  I also wish that more people could look past any kind of disability, or anything that isn't considered "normal" or "pretty", and see that what's in someone's heart is the most important thing. I know that not everyone takes time to look at what is on the inside, nor does everyone care, but there are people out there that look past the "outer shell"...and love people for who they are.  Anymore it seems few and far between though, I know.   

   

We just have to try and be kind, considerate, and stand up for what we believe is right. Maybe our examples will make a difference in some way. That's all you can really do in life...try to do your best to be a good person, and hope that somehow you can make other people's lives better.  It sounds like a lot of people on this board are trying to do that, and it's good to see that!  

     

 
June 3, 2006, 5:11 pm CDT

Pretty/ugly

DR PHIL SHOULD SEND A COPY OF THIS TAPE TO VICTORIA'S DAD SO HE CAN GET FULL CUSTODY, A TAPE SHOULD BE SENT TO THE DEPARTMENT OF CHILDREN AND FAMILIES.  WOW, I COULDN'T BELIEVE HOW THE MOM TREATED VICTORIA.  IF SHE IS SO ASHAMED OF HER DAUGHTERS LOOKS AND THINKS SHE WILL TURN OUT TO BE SKUM WHY NOT GIVE HER TO HER DAD (UNLESS HE IS UNFIT) OR PLACE HER FOR ADOPTION  i'M SURE A FAMILY WOULD TAKE HER AND LOVE HER FOR WHO SHE IS.  I WATCHED THE SHOW IS SHOCK EVERYTIME THE MOM WOULD TALK.ED   DR PHIL THE MOM NEEDS MORE THAN COUNSELING I'M NOT SURE SHE SHOULD HAVE CUSTODY OF KIDS!!!
 
June 3, 2006, 5:22 pm CDT

Totally agree!

Quote From: alleysally

Dear Dr. Phil and fellow Dr. Phil-ophiles,  

  

I found this segment one of the most confusing of recent broadcasts.   

  

I completely understand that Jay was treated much differently in the makeup of an unattractive, slightly overweight and unkempt person than he is, as himself--but beyond that, I am not sure what the point was.  

  

Attractive people ARE treated differently than unattractive people. THAT is not news as far as I am aware. Jay said he initially "felt" the same in the makeup as he does without it, but as he became increasingly aware that his appearance was repellent to people he tried unsuccessfully to engage, he actually began to FEEL differently about himself. Jay's own real personality was intact, but because no one would acknowledge him he was unable display his personality. His real personality never surfaced because the people he encountered couldn't get past his displeasing appearance and therefore avoided any kind of interaction with him that would serve to bring out his real personality.   

  

I think somewhere in the show it was mentioned (honestly, I would have to re-watch it to know for certain) that we need to see beyond the surface of an individual's appearance and value each person for WHO they are rather than what they may look like. IF that was mentioned, it certainly wasn't emphasized. Maybe someone here can refresh my memory?  

  

At the end of the show when the credits were running I heard Dr. Phil say to Jay, something like, " . . . well, you WERE really creepy-looking." I was rather taken aback by that. What does that REALLY SAY to people who actually look like Jay did with the makeup on?   

  

Not everyone is born attractive, and among those who aren't, few can financially afford to do what could be done for them in order to LOOK more attractive. So--do we discount those "creepy-looking" individuals who can't afford plastic surgery, dental veneers, designer haircuts, or personal trainers to help them stay fit looking, and clothes that will make the most of their best attributes?  

  

And we're back to the original premise: Attractive people are treated differently and usually considered more "worthy." Unattractive people are much more challenged to prove their worth.  

  

Thanks for listening to my take on this. I'm still trying to figure out what the REAL message of the segment  was. If I need to be set straight on this (gently, please!) or if you have further insights, please reply. 

  

alleysally 

I was actually watching that episode with my mother and when he said that I was just gasped. I turned and asked her so what he'll preach it but not practice it?! Dr. Phil and his son Jay are both with extremely beautiful women. Did they ever give the one's who aren't blessed with a beautiful face a body a chance? I honestly doubt it. I respect Dr. Phil a great deal, but I feel that whole segment was hypocritical.  

-Kim 

 
June 4, 2006, 12:12 am CDT

05/30 Pretty/Ugly

Quote From: kim62687

I was actually watching that episode with my mother and when he said that I was just gasped. I turned and asked her so what he'll preach it but not practice it?! Dr. Phil and his son Jay are both with extremely beautiful women. Did they ever give the one's who aren't blessed with a beautiful face a body a chance? I honestly doubt it. I respect Dr. Phil a great deal, but I feel that whole segment was hypocritical.  

-Kim 

I still don't get why people "gasped" at that. His son DID look creepy. The point of the show was NOT to lie about the fact that ugly people are ugly. The point was, that it shouldn't MATTER if people are ugly or not.

His son DID look creepy and ugly.

And I really don't know Dr Phil or his son or who they have dated in the past and neither do you. Robin obviously looked past Dr Phil's looks because he's not conventionally attractive at all. He is however charming and intelligent.

You are judging people based on their looks by being concerned with the fact the Phil and Jay have attractive spouses. WHO CARES!?!?!??!
 
June 4, 2006, 3:05 am CDT

PrettyUgly But Then There's Just Plain Stupid

I saw the show on the HORRIBLE mother who treated her one child like she had leprosy. Is she for real? I would have reported her to the DFS!  That child's short time on earth has been negated by her own mother. Hey Mom! You are going to age sweetheart! You aren't always going to be seen as pretty and when you aren't, you think of the pain you caused your daughter. Your behaviour towards one of your daughter was beyond disturbing and completely despicable. I feel so sorry for that little girl! How heart-beaking. This woman does not deserve to be a mother. Her statements is shocking and cruel. A mother's love is supposed to be unconditional lady!   

Aging has been hard on me.  I used to walk down the street or in a mall and all the men would look at me. I found it annoying and uncomfortable but when it all stopped as I reached middle age, I found it very hard to take. Combined with a lot of other bad experiences, I feel like a nobody. Really, I'm as close to being a nobody as anyone can get and every day is painful. Of course I am not just talking about my looks - I'm not as obsessed with looks as the above mentioned parent but I feel like I have failed in literally every area of my life. Sometimes just breathing is hard.  

Sorry, getting off topic either. My life is a nightmare but it's not because of my looks.  

 
June 4, 2006, 8:09 am CDT

THAT PERSON NEEDS HELP

Dr. Phil   

I could not believe that show, as you SEE  I couldn't even call her a mother.  She because she hasn't earned that title.  How can any mother think that have one child that is beautiful and one ugly.  You take the (ugly one) the Wal-Mart the buy her clothes and you don't even give her a birthday party, because she is too fat and ugly.  But the (beautiful one) you buy her clothes at the expense shop name brands, and give her the most expense birthday party.  I can't remember did you let poor Victoria go to the party or was she too ugly for that too.  I hope you remember our children or what we make them.  I think you said that Hunter is already asking why you treat Victoria different, so you better be careful, what goes around comes around.  Hunter could turn on you.  If Victoria is fat then you are not teaching her how to eat right.  And she is eating and hiding the food because of you.  Maybe if you took both children to the same place to buy their clothes, and give Victoria some love, like you do Hunter.  Victoria my not for love and peace in food.  And that is sad to say for a small child. I hope her Father treat her good, maybe even take her away from you.  START LOVING YOUR CHILD BEFORE IT'S TO LATE.   

 
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