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Topic : 05/30 Pretty/Ugly

Number of Replies: 1324
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Created on : Friday, September 09, 2005, 03:43:52 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 09/16/05) How important do you think looks really are? And, do you think attractive people get treated better in society? Dr. Phil's son, Jay, goes out in  disguise to see if people really do judge a book by its cover. You won't believe the results, nor the response that surprised him the most! Plus, Debi favors her older daughter because she’s "beautiful" and treats her youngest like "dirt" because she's "fat and unattractive." Can Dr. Phil help her love both girls equally? And, Michelle only lets her daughter play with pretty kids on the playground because she equates beauty with success in life. Will she learn to re-evaluate her standards? Tell us your thoughts on today's show.

 

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June 2, 2006, 5:07 pm CDT

Agree

Quote From: mznand

I PRAY THAT DR. PHIL CONTINUES TO CHECK ON VICTORIA. I WAS RAISED BY A MOTHER WHO FAVORED ONE CHILD OVER THE OTHER. I NOT ONLY GREW UP WITHOUT A RELATIONSHIP WITH MY MOTHER, I ALSO NEVER WAS CLOSE TO MY SISTER. WE NOW HAVE NO RELATIONSHIP AT ALL.   

   

I WISH PARENTS WOULD BE HELD MORE AS RESPONSIBLE FOR EMOTIONAL ABUSE AS THEY ARE PHYSICAL. BRUISES HEAL FASTER THAN BROKEN SPIRITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

I agree.... I pray also that Dr Phil will continue to check on these children...  

 
June 2, 2006, 6:30 pm CDT

I AM UPHALLED

I just happened to be watching the Dr. Phil Show when I saw Debi come on and admit that she treated Victoria differently than her other daughter. I drive a school bus for a living and I can tell you that I can tell what kind of home raising a child has as soon as they step on the bus.  

I and my wife would love to adopt Victoria, make sure that she gets a good education, and above all treat her the way that she should be treated.  

It's time that parents like these treat their children like individuals, rather than just keeping them around for the tax break at the end of the year!  

 
June 2, 2006, 6:55 pm CDT

Please save Victoria

Dr. Phil I pray for Debi's daughters every day.  When my son was born his head was the size of a bowling ball and every time a child stares or says something ugly about him I will stop and tell them in terms they can understand  what is wrong with him so hopefully if they see a child who is "different" they will realize that they are the same just a little different on the outside.  Every time we go to the store people approach me and tell me how beautiful he is and that he looks like an angel then they ask what is wrong and I tell them to raise awareness of children with disabilities.  I wish some one would open her eyes and let her see just how beautiful Victoria really is.
 
June 2, 2006, 7:21 pm CDT

05/30 Pretty/Ugly

Quote From: vrgasdave

i too have a disability thats has made me a NOT normal person, I have kyphosis a 80 degree angle (hump back)  im 41, male, i never had a real girl friend a i didnt think i looked that bad, but apperently i do. and for the past 25 years or so, i'v delt with isolation from a lot of people. girls would never want to be seen with me. i was always the 3rd weel on dates. So yes i have been treated so badly i wanted to die and it must of been 1000 times i thought death would be a lot easier than this crule sucky life. and to this day i feel like death would be fine with me But   prety Vs Ugly. no doubt pretty wins.

I'm sorry to hear those comments, because you ARE of worth...no matter what. I wish that more people could look past any kind of disability, or anything that isn't considered "normal" or "pretty", and see what's in someone's heart is the most important thing.   

   

Please don't give up hope. I know life can be downright miserable at times, and so I know how hard it can be to try and be positive -- let alone want to live at times. I know that there ARE good people out there, who DO look beyond the "outer shell", it's just finding them. You still are at a great point in your life, lots of good things can be ahead of you. I don't have any easy answers to make life tons better, but I hope what I've said helps uplift you a little.   

   

I don't know if you believe in God or not, I know that can seem hard at times too, but know that He does love you and that one day you WILL be perfect...but the time is up to the Lord. You are here for a purpose, and I'm sure that you touch other people's lives -- even though you may not know it. Try and remember that life CAN be worth living, despite all of its trials and obstacles.  I've suffered with depression most of my life, so I know how hard each day can be, but I've also tried to always be thankful for even my smallest blessing.  Again, I know it can be hard to feel that way, thankful for the little things or for anything sometimes, but I hope that you can find some peace and comfort in your daily life.  

 
June 2, 2006, 10:26 pm CDT

pretty/ugly

This woman is a very abusive mother.   She is certainly far far far from perfect.  Please Dr. Phil, please see that this girl gets help.   Growing up I was both physically and emotionally abused by my parents.    Physically I was hit with a pop bottle, beaten till my back was black with bruises etc.  Yes it was bad but I can honestly tell you that it is the words that have caused the most damage.  I am now 41 years of age and my lumps and bruises have heeled, however every time i look at myself in the mirror, every time i see people in public,  basically all the time,  I see myself as ugly and not worthy.  It doesn't matter how dressed up I get or how many times I am told by friends that i am pretty I don't believe it.  I have to battle these thoughts every day.   This has effected me so much that I rarely look people directly in the eyes, I spent years of my life trying to isolate myself from people and have never felt I was worth anything.  PLEASE DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN TO HER , TAKE HER AWAY FROM HER MOTHER IF YOU MUST !!!!!  otherwise this little girl is destined for a life of depression..     

   

This poor little girl will not take care of herself because she has already been treated  and believes that she is not worth the effort.  

 
June 2, 2006, 10:46 pm CDT

Debi is abusing her children

Victoria has Vitiligo which is a condition in which a loss of cells that give color to the skin (melanocytes) results in smooth, white patches in the midst of normally pigmented skin.Vitiligo is a common, often inherited disorder characterized by areas of well-defined, milky white skin. People with vitiligo may have eye abnormalities and also have a higher incidence of thyroid disease, diabetes mellitus, and pernicious anemia. Vitiligo affects about 1-2% of the world's population. It is more easily observed in sun-exposed areas of the body and in darker skin types, but it affects any area of the body   

I know this because I have the same condition and looked just like Victoria as a child.  I thank God that Debi is not my mother.  I had a family that loved and supported me through this rough time in my life.  When people stared and asked what was wrong with me in an impolite, accusing manner I was told just to tell them that God had made me this way and then ask.."What's your excuse?'  

   

I wish I could talk to Victorias mom Debi and let her know just how hard it is to be a child with this condition.  The ridicule and stares can be very rough to endure from others, but to have your own parent turn their back on you has to be complete torture for this poor child.  I was loved and supported and still took comfort in food as a child,  and unknowingly had a thyroid condition as well which contributed to the weight problems, which often coinsides with Vitiligo.. she may want to have victorias thyroid function checked instead of picking on her weight.  These things do go together.  

   

Please do not let this child be ignored.  I know you offered help, but I find it hard to believe that Debi will change when she seemed to be so VERY DEFENSIVE  of her actions toward her children.  Don't let Victoria be unheard.  HELP THIS CHILD.. and if her mother wants to really know from someone who has been in Victoias shoes to some degree, she can contact me at any time.  I will give her the truth and Victoria all the support I can offer.  Not the  ridicule and neglect she receives now.  

 
June 2, 2006, 10:58 pm CDT

COULDN'T AGREE MORE !!!

Quote From: daisyg

I am so worried about Debi's little girl who she discriminates against because of her appearance.  That poor little girl is very attractive, and her skin condition is nothing to be embarrassed about.  So many brave people survive burns and other accidents that leave them permanently disfigured and things for that girl could be so much worse. 

  

That mother is knowingly abusing, neglecting and permanently damaging her child, and it needs to stop right now.  That poor girl is obviously already damaged my the mistreatment and her mothers behaviour needs to change 5 minutes ago in order to reverse the damage already done. 

  

I try not to pass judgement on people I don't even know, but I couldn't even help myself with this one because it is so blatant and obnoxious that it made me tear up when I saw the show.  No birthday party?  Cake?  What kind of mother is this?!?  Especially when they obviously have the means to provide some sort of celebration for this girl.  Isn't your birthday supposed to be the day that your mom rejoices at the day you were born?  Every year on my birthday I have to listen ad nauseum the story of the whole process of my mom going into labor and giving birth.  I'm just glad it wasn't videotaped....I don't have to see that.  Especially when I want to have kids of my own one day. 

  

To a certain extent I feel that Debi could have used some words from the always interesting and dutifull Robin telling her to get her ass in gear and start being a mother to both of her kids, not just the one she sees as more attractive (which just seems twisted to me....shouldn't a mother think both of her kids are beautiful?). 

  

Dr. Phil please help that little girl and help her to get off sleeping on the floor (another messed up detail of the story) and get her back on track to realizing her own unique features and beauty.  My heart goes out to her. 

Debi needs a reality check and she needs it last year.  That chld deserves so much more than Debi is giving her.  If she is so ashamed and embarassed, let her father have custody, it has to be better than what she has now.  Somethings got to give.  HELP this poor girl.  I just don't understand why you did not threaten to call CPS on this mom.   

It may not be physical, but it is ABUSE and NEGLECT no matter how you look at it, or try to candy coat what she is doing.  This child needs a hero as you so politely use that phrase all so often, and no disrespect intended, but now is the time for action because I find it hard to believe that Debi is really going to make any effort to change.  She sounded more on the defense on your show than she sounded about being serious about changing HER OWN BEHAVIOR.  She was looking for someone to FIX  Victoria, instead of herslef who is reallyt he problem. 

 
June 2, 2006, 11:24 pm CDT

a real mother

A real mother see's all her children as beautiful.  I hope Victoria's father is this great guy who see's his ex on the show takes the a tape of it to the judge and get's full custody of his daughter, with Debi only  allowed supervised visits, if any at all.  I mean really, what else is she capable of doing to her daughter if she's willing to treat her this way, abuse is abuse in any form.  

 What a "b%()$ch"!! I can see why Victorias dad isn't with her to begin with.  She's a peach of a woman, who in some delusional way thinks that she's beautiful.  WRONG!!!!!     "Pretty is, as Pretty does"  and sister you ain't pretty at all.  I know you think you are but, you are the furthest thing from it., also the 80's called and what their hair and lipstick back.  I'm sure that doesn't hurt your feelings either, cause you would have to have some  in order for them to be hurt.   

Shame on you!  You should be embarressed about your apperance  on the show as well as your apperance in the world of motherhood.  That's all it is a apperance, you sure aren't walking the walk. You can't just go on the Dr Phil show and asked him to wave his wand and have him give you "natural love and affection" for you daughter.  Either you have it or you don't, so do her a favor and give her to one of millions who can't have children of their own.  You would do that for a stray dog, wouldn't you? 

 
June 2, 2006, 11:56 pm CDT

05/30 Pretty/Ugly

Quote From: fairydance

I am one of those 'ugly' people, and yes we are treated differently.   Jay is one of the lucky ones.  He got to take off the make-up and things went back to normal for him.   The rest of us don't get to take off the make up and costumes.   Every standard society holds in high regard, I am lacking.  I have no breast's, crooked teeth,  big feet,  a curve in my spine,  and I am not white.  Lets see thats five strikes against me before I even walk out the door.   Why was I even born.  I think its a cruel joke to have to exist in this world.  I've had people bark at me when  out walking with my son, I walk in to stores and don't  waited on.   Most of the time I don't bother fixing myself up because it's like, "whats the point",  It doesn't matter what I think or feel about my self,  because its the rest of the world that says what goes.  Going out in public is extremely painfull.   I hate this world, I hate this life, suicide is constantly on my mind.   I hate my self so much.   I invested in braces for my teeth, but theres nothing I can do for my breasts'.  I don't have the finances for a total make over.   I was told that men need breast.   I lack everything that a women should have.  Some day I will free myself of this pain, someday some how....right now I am just waithing for my boys to grow up, cause I can't leave them now....  so for now its just one painfull day at a time.     

When I was 19 my mom attempted suicide. It broke my heart. I was "grown up" ...but I felt so horrible and raw and sick. I love my mom and if she ever did it again and succeeded it would leave a hole in my life that I can't explain.

Don't do that to your kids just because they are grown. I've been depressed, I've been suicidal and I know what it's like to live in that black hole. And I promise you, and I'm telling you that there is a way out and life can feel really really freaking good. Life can be amazing.

Get yourself some help now. The rest of the world can go to hell. Who cares what they think. You have two boys who need you and think the world of you. They don't give a damn what you look like. And it's time for you to stop caring what you look like. Cause if you stop caring then you will stop caring about those who care.

Please, get yourself help right now. Life can be so sweet, so fun, so exciting and soooooo joyful. Trust me, TRUST me I KNOW how you feel right now.


 
June 3, 2006, 12:25 am CDT

MESSAGE TO YOU MOMS FROM GOD

Quote From: iburcham

Mom must not realize how ugly she looked sitting up there talking about her child that way. Shame on you.. I hope you read this. I have a son with Autism. He has a eating problem and we are doing everything we know to do to help him. He is not fat .. just chunky and for Godsake I would never say that any of my children are ugly. I am so not ashamed of any of my children expecially not him. Even when he kicked his clothes off in the department store, or hollers out things that make no sense, or when he flaps or spins or blows. You should be ashamed to look in the mirror at your own self. You child is a part of you lady.. a part of your heart. Something that was gifted to you, and you abuse your privelage of being a mother like that. The only part about this show that was good is when Dr. Phil said you need help and you said you were willing to accept it. 

Geesh! 

ILL LEND YOU A LITTLE TIME, A CHILD OF MINE, HE SAID. 

FOR YOU TO LOVE WHILE THIS CHILD LIVES, AND MOURN WHEN THIS CHILD IS DEAD. 

IT MAY BE 6 OR 7 YEARS, 22 OR 23. 

BUT WILL YOU, TILL I CALL THIS CHILD HOME, TAKE CARE OF THIS CHILD FOR ME? 

THIS CHILD BRINGS CHARMS TO GLADDEN YOU, AND SHALL THE SAY BE BRIEF. 

YOU WILL HAVE THIS CHILDS LOVELY MEMORIES AS SOLACE FOR YOUR GRIEF. 

I CANNOT PROMISE YOU THIS CHILD WILL STAY, SINCE ALL FROM EARTH RETURN, 

BUT THERE A LESSONS TAUGHT DOWN THERE I WANT THIS CHILD TO LEARN. 

IVE LOOK THE WIDE WORLD OVER IN MY SEARCH FOR TEACHERS TRUE, 

AND FROM THE THRONGS  THAT CROWD LIFES LANES, I HAVE SELECTED YOU! 

NOW WILL YOU GIVE THIS CHILD ALL YOUR LOVE, NOR THINK THE LABOR VAIN, 

NOR HATE ME WHEN I COME TO CALL, TO TAKE THIS CHILD BACK AGAIN? 

I FANCIED THAT I HEARD THEM SAY, 

  

DEAR LORD, THY WILL BE DONE! 

FOR ALL THE JOY THY CHILD SHALL BRING, THE RISK OF GRIEF WE'LL RUN. 

WE'LL SHOWER THIS CHILD WITH TENDERNESS, WILL LOVE THIS CHILD WHILE WE MAY; 

AND FOR THE HAPPINESS WE'VE KNOWN, WILL EVER GRATEFUL STAY. 

BUT SHALL THE ANGELS CALL THIS CHILD MUCH SOONER THEN WE PLANNED, 

WE'LL BARE THE  BITTER GRIEF THAT COMES, AND TRY TO UNDERSTAND. 

SO LORD, LET US LOVE THIS CHILD WITH ALL OUR HEARTS AND ALL OUR SOULS, 

UNTIL THAT DAY THIS CHILD BECOMES HEAVEN BOUND, AND THE TRUMPET BLOWS. 

  

WHEN A CHILD IS BORN TO YOU.. ITS A GIFT OF THE PUREST FORM OF LOVE .. FROM GOD! 

 
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