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Topic : 07/17 The Dr. Phil House: Man Camp, Part 2

Number of Replies: 289
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Created on : Friday, February 02, 2007, 03:00:27 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 02/06/07) An intensive workshop continues in The Dr. Phil House as three wives turn their husbands in to Man Camp in a last-ditch effort to save their marriages. After Scott refuses to clean up a mess in the house, he has an angry discussion with Dr. Phil and storms out. Can his wife, Tara, convince him to give the experience another shot for the sake of his marriage and his family? Then, John and Nic roll up their sleeves and begin to clean the house, while their wives secretly watch in amazement. Will they have a new appreciation for what their better halves do on a daily basis? Plus, Dr. Phil sits down with Nic and Amanda. What did they do to nearly get kicked out of The Dr. Phil House? And will Amanda agree to bring in the man she’s been having an affair with, so she can tell him in front of Dr. Phil that it’s over, once and for all? Join the discussion.

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February 12, 2007, 9:55 am CST

whiners

This women need to grow a backbone if you dont like your life change it dont sit there and cry about it.  did you ever listen to the eagles " so often times it happens that we live our lives in chains and we never even knew we had the key"  If he does not love you he does not love you nothing you can do. I also think all 3 of these men are battling their own private deamons that have nothing to do with their wives. all 6 of  you need professional help
 
February 12, 2007, 7:17 pm CST

So truly typical, isn't it?

Quote From: vincenza12

Scott's anger works for him.  When he starts screaming and yelling evryone gets out of his way or tries to cajole him he screams some more and what was expected of him is forgotten.  He pulled the same crap with the guys that he pulls with his wife.  Guess What?  He got away with not cleaning.  he got what he wanted.  he is lazy and uses his ugly ways to his advangage.  Why anyone would want to save that so-called marriage is beyod me. 

Yeah, I would agree with this statement.  I think it's true of all human beings- we do what works for us.  It's how we learned to relate to the world, right? As infants, we scream when we are hungry, wet, angry, thirsty, etc.  As we become more vocal- it doesn't mean we necessarily learn better coping skills.... ;)  I think that Scott does what works for him, Tara does what works for her- You do what works for you and I do what works for me.... The trouble begins when what works for me, does not work for you, right? So, truly- he has no issues with himself, none of them do- it's only when relating to others that there is a problem.... The definition of a personality disorder!! :)  So, the biggest issue I see coming- is getting each of these people to TRULY see that they are contributing to their own realities... and they need to learn how to change what they are contributing in order to change their reality.  Good luck to everyone! And especially to Dr. Phil!
 
February 14, 2007, 11:30 pm CST

Unbelievable

I hope that on some level, Phil saw that temper tantrum comming.  I don't understand how an adult could find another adult at all emotionally or sexually appealing when they are functioning like a child.  And to be so audacious, to warn others when he is going to do something wrong, then do it, then have the nerve to complain about it all.

 

And the other couple, handed the keys to the castle... tens of thousands of dollars worth of travel, accomodations, intensive therapy, airtime... to jeopardize it by breaking the first few rules.  La di da, la di da, I had 5 minutes on national television, I'm cured, time for sex.  Huh?

 
February 15, 2007, 6:35 pm CST

Exactly right.

Quote From: vincenza12

Scott's anger works for him.  When he starts screaming and yelling evryone gets out of his way or tries to cajole him he screams some more and what was expected of him is forgotten.  He pulled the same crap with the guys that he pulls with his wife.  Guess What?  He got away with not cleaning.  he got what he wanted.  he is lazy and uses his ugly ways to his advangage.  Why anyone would want to save that so-called marriage is beyod me. 

Even 3 year-olds figure out how to use tantrums to their advantage.
 
February 17, 2007, 7:53 am CST

Man camp mess

I can't believe that Tara has any desire to stay with Scott.  He is  a control freak who gets his way because he is treated with kid gloves.  I would say that Tara is dependent on him and doesn't know how to live on her own.  What woman in her right mind would live with a guy like this.  This isn't love, it is co-dependency.  The guy who's wife is a stripper, what a weakling!!  He only likes the money she brings in but he has to deal with the ramifications.  What kind of guys go to strip clubs?  Not guys who truly love women and respect them!!  The affair issue just disgusts me!!  Once someone cheats there will never be trust in the relationship again, ever!!
 
February 19, 2007, 1:03 am CST

02/06 The Dr. Phil House: Man Camp, Part 2

Quote From: joysonshine

of God on high.....I think if maybe you could sit down with your kids & not talk bad about their dad & tell them you need them to listen to what you have to say.

That this divorce is between you & their dad, they are not getting divorced from either one of you.

This divorce is not about them picking sides, you are still their mother & he is still their dad & that you both love them very much & want what is best for them totally...because it seems to be too that they are hurting through all of this & this is their way of dealing with it picking sides & that should not be the case.

I will call your x & tell him if you can that the kids should not have to suffer through this divorce that if you guys put the kids to pick you will be hurting them & yourselves because kids or teens need both the mother & the father in their lives always....

hope  I was of help. :O)

 reread the first line, she divoriced a man who was emotionally and physically abusive to her, and brainwashed her children against her...........so talk to him and he will stop doing this?

 

ON WHAT PLANET? If that were true wouldn't they still be together cause she asked him to make nice?

 

Really, some people just can't get it.

 
February 20, 2007, 10:11 pm CST

Why is he being so hard on the stripper?

Why is Dr. Phil being so hard on the stripper telling her to quit her job after his son marries and ex-playboy playmate?????  What's good for the goose is good for the gander. Maybe I don't know the whole story but its food for though.
 
February 21, 2007, 5:30 am CST

Right-On!

Quote From: sam_ann

I fought with myself for years about how to handle my (ex-)husband's anger.  The first time he hit me, I listened when he told me he couldn't control himself. I thought about how his father is ten times worse than he is, and I thought about how it must have been for him to grow up like that.

 

I didn't feel like I was being a victim. I really wanted to understand him and help him. And I knew it was wrong, the way he treated me. But still, it was still a fight to maintain any self-esteem after hearing him degrade me for years.

 

But he said he loved me. He was nice at times. He said he was sorry. I mean, you are supposed to love your wife, right? He must really have had such horrible issues that he absolutely could not control himself, I thought. He told me it was like a light switch. Once it was turned on, there was nothing he could do to stop himself.

 

Until I called the cops on him. He realized that his career could be affected adversely if he harmed me physically. He never laid another hand on me again.

 

Of course, the mental and emotional abuse continued, and I eventually left. But knowing that he could have stopped hitting me before, but just chose not to, hurts more than the fact that he ever hit me in the first place.

 

He is remarried now, they have a house, he has a great career, and they seem pretty happy. His new wife has better relationship skills and self-esteem than I have ever had, and I guess they have worked on their marriage to where they are in a pretty good place.

 

Even now, six years after we split up, hearing Dr. Phil say that no matter how crappy a wife or mother you are, you don't deserve to be called names really hits home with me. I made my fair share of mistakes in my marriage, but knowing that Dr. Phil would tell me that it wasn't my fault that he hit me really means something.

 

Um, right. Anyway, to anyone who thinks like I did, that they can't help it, you are wrong. They can help it. They can control themselves. They just don't want to. They have no motivation. They act like jerks and you are still there. Why change?

 

 

You seem to have a better "take" on this than Dr. Phil gave. He has stated many times,  that abusers seek to isolate their victims.  John viewed his Mother-in-Law as an interloper, while Scott's opinion was "vital" to him?  And Dr. Phil gave John slack - by saying, the "boy" will screw up - well, news flash abused women will also screw up while reclaiming their  "POWER."  Dr. Phil called her a "...stepford wife..." and then cuts her knees out from under her by saying she showed a critical spirit for expressing her feelings/doubts  regarding John's interaction with his Mother-in-law.  John's body language does show  a lack of involvement - what HE labeled as relaxed.  And, the verbal tirade John launched, clearly shows he was upset that his Mother-in-law was there - while he stated that he was fine w/the whole situation.  Spewing obscenities, while blaming his wife, is also classic abuser behavior.  He is OUTRAGED... his response is way out of proportion - but his wife IS confronting him, and saying she doubts his sincerity - - and then Dr. Phil accuses her of having a "critical spirit/attitude???"  Yet not one comment about the entire "scene", when she is on her knees, saying "I'm sorry," - she looks like someone kissing the pope's ring - and all I see is John's "relaxed posture" (which looks just like his pose during the Mother-in-laws speech).  She's on her knees "begging," and I did not see any change in his posture?  That quite frankly, summed up their entire relationship, for over a decade.  That he got so bent-out-of-shape, because she didn't believe he was sincere - these are mere words/promises - but when a VICTIM takes back power, you have to stop believing in the words, first!!!!  The TRUE proof of CHANGE is in the ACTIONS. 
 
February 24, 2007, 2:02 am CST

WHAT'S YOUR SUGGESTION?

Quote From: leah1991

Who said anything about blame or what she deserved. I only suggested that the girl I replied to needed to be a litle smarter than her attitude on this board indicated. Ever heard the saying, "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread"?
So if calling the police and/or throwing his ass out is not the answer, what is ???  Does encouraging  someone to put up with that sort of behavior even one more day constitute have a "smart attitude?"
 
February 25, 2007, 4:37 pm CST

02/06 The Dr. Phil House: Man Camp, Part 2

Quote From: luknee

I believe too many women believe in "happily ever after" and throw themselves in relationships that deplete them of power and dignity.  Here is a wonderful poem of Maya Angelou that women should use as a primer to life. I hope the wives on the show read this gem.

 

MAYA ANGELOU
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams
wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in
her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE....
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
one friend who always makes her laugh.... and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in
her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a
meal that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
a feeling of control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

HOW TO QUIT A JOB,
BREAK UP WITH A LOVER,
AND CONFRONT A FRIEND WITHOUT RUINING THE FRIENDSHIP...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her
hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...
but its over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it....

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't
take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table...
or a charming inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she can and can't accomplish in a day...a month...and a year....

A true American Hero, Rock On Maya heres another of my favs

 

Alone by Maya Angelou
Lying, thinking
Last night
How to find my soul a home
Where water is not thirsty
And bread loaf is not stone
I came up with one thing
And I don't believe I'm wrong
That nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.

There are some millionaires
With money they can't use
Their wives run round like banshees
Their children sing the blues
They've got expensive doctors
To cure their hearts of stone.
But nobody
No, nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Now if you listen closely
I'll tell you what I know
Storm clouds are gathering
The wind is gonna blow
The race of man is suffering
And I can hear the moan,
'Cause nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone

 
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