|
January 30, 2006, 1:38 pm PST
trapped
Quote From: babybombevHi,
I have been married 37 yrs. as of 2 days ago and there is nothing left but a room mate situation and not a good one at that. It really saddens me and I have tried all within my power to change the situation. My husband is on Valium and I know that is a big cause. He just watches TV, sleeps and eats. We have no sex, do nothing together except argue. All our kids are gone and we have recently got a dog to hold us together-I guess. We both talk more to her than each other. I quit working about 6 yrs.a go and now just write 2X's a week (column ) for my local newspaper. I hear him now asking the dog for a kiss and saying you are my baby! I use to be his baby. I am finally figuring out that I can't change anyone but me so I am starting on that. I just don't know whether or not to throw in the towel after so many years. Any answers out there??? Very sad and confused............I really wish that he loved me like I perceive Dr. Phil loves his wive. I would go on the show but I don't think it would do us any good. Once we took marriage counseling and they said we were like a train wreck...Oh one thing we do together is watch Dr. Phil. We are both from Texas and like the way he calls it lick it is. 35.5 years here, same room mate situation, he told me he doesn't want sex because it reminds him of what he's missing. Quit my job of 20 years because of stress and to help him on the farm but nobody but him can do it right. He talks to our dog(s) the same way (we have 5) and there are times I think he does it on purpose just to make me jealous. I do love him so this is very depressing for me but it has gone on almost the whole time we have been married. I have done everything I can think of to make him happy, whether I wanted to or not and all he does is curse and swear, use the f word and is always angry. Nothing makes him happy. I wish I had valium for him, he would be easier to get along with. I took over paying the bills right from the start, he never got around to do it til we were getting late notices, same with the farm book work and income taxes, did the farm chores for him while he was gone driving truck, raised 2 (good) boys and had a full time job. We have few friends, go nowhere and he spends all his time in the barn til late at night when he comes in to embrace his dearest love (TV) and looks to see if I have made him supper (always). Yet everything is my fault. If Dr. Phil and his wife ever get a divorce that will be the end of it for me because they are my only hope that 2 people can really love each other, talk things out and get along. I finally called a marriage counselor this morning, against my better judgment since we live in appalachia. No good counselor would live around here (no money). Of course, no answer so I left a message and of course no one called me back. I always laugh when people say to find a good counselor. Around here try to even find one and the chances are close to zilch. So all I can tell you, is you have a soul mate out here and summer is coming. We can busy ourselves outside and things don't look so bleak then. Oh one other thing, in the last few years I accepted Jesus Christ as my savior and that has really helped me but if anything made our relationship worse because my husband says I've changed since I've got religion (duh) and he doesn't like me so much anymore. This too shall pass...
|
