Replies to '06/19 Pressured Into Marriage'
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January 10, 2006, 1:15 pm PST
 Quote From: rajkalra now a days we are lost..in the maze of modernism...and modern women...in olden days love use to blossom after marriage...............there use to be that element of surprise curiostiy anticipation ..but now adays the feelings of lust, teenage infatuation and peer pressure to be in love or to be in a relationship pushes man and women to make wrong choices.....
We in india were use to have arranged marriages ..yet our culture was very sexually active... We gave world kamasutra..... becuase then expression of and talking sex was not tabooed....but was encouraged..now boys and girls attain puberty without knowing what is it and how to react....the age old practice of getting married on puberty ...was safe and sound practice.....thats why till today in many culture attaianing puberty for a girl is celebrated in a big way..... in modern society we dont let our children marry at the tender age of 14-18 when the biological clock is ready sexually.....and moreover we expect them to remain virgin..till they get married.....sometime which is for next 10-15 years... the thing is we have to understand...even though human brain has developd and we have reached the moon...basicaly we are also part of the animal kingdon..and we still have the same animal instinct...as any other animal....and no mater how much we try to confine ourself to the so called law of the society.....our animal instinct and beahaviour takes over...we are no different from any lion tiger or a bison we still have the same desires....and we still fight for our mate and at times competion gets violent...
modern women needs to understand ..for man it is very difficult to remain faithfull and pure in body and in mind......what the women expects now days it is against mans nature..it is like training the lion to eat grass thats what society is doing taming a wild animal.. i am sure the most faithful man in the world also looks at passing womens ooozing breast...bulging back side...and thinks wow what a sight.... ....if only i can have sex with her once...... because for men sex is a phycsical requirement....but for a women it is emotional..men canstill ove his wife very much and still have sex wiht another women....and not feel guilty....it is in his genes.....i mean no disrespect to women....but thats how we are made..where as women needs to be emotionally involved to have sex with a man...
.........for man it is very difficult to remain faithful and pure in body and mind.................................because for men it is a physical requirement...but for women it is emotional.
May I ask if this idea comes from your personal experience or as a result of what you learned at home and the cultural attitudes you grew up with?
I am an older woman with 2 grown children and was married for nearly 30 years. My personal experience has taught me that men do get a feeling of physical release, like a release of tension, from the sex act, However..............so do I. And as far as feelings, I have experienced that men also have feelings attached to sex, sometimes they are about ego and conquest. And sometimes they are tender and loving. I have also experienced the physical desire for sex, not entirely an emotional response. You might find it interesting that the men in Nazi Germany rationalized their sexual behavior, forced and consenting, by saying that it was an natural need that had to be accepted. I could use the rationalization that I need more than 1 man because they are so limited in their natural ability to meet my emotional needs. |
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January 10, 2006, 4:36 pm PST
Quote From: rajkalra now a days we are lost..in the maze of modernism...and modern women...in olden days love use to blossom after marriage...............there use to be that element of surprise curiostiy anticipation ..but now adays the feelings of lust, teenage infatuation and peer pressure to be in love or to be in a relationship pushes man and women to make wrong choices.....
We in india were use to have arranged marriages ..yet our culture was very sexually active... We gave world kamasutra..... becuase then expression of and talking sex was not tabooed....but was encouraged..now boys and girls attain puberty without knowing what is it and how to react....the age old practice of getting married on puberty ...was safe and sound practice.....thats why till today in many culture attaianing puberty for a girl is celebrated in a big way..... in modern society we dont let our children marry at the tender age of 14-18 when the biological clock is ready sexually.....and moreover we expect them to remain virgin..till they get married.....sometime which is for next 10-15 years... the thing is we have to understand...even though human brain has developd and we have reached the moon...basicaly we are also part of the animal kingdon..and we still have the same animal instinct...as any other animal....and no mater how much we try to confine ourself to the so called law of the society.....our animal instinct and beahaviour takes over...we are no different from any lion tiger or a bison we still have the same desires....and we still fight for our mate and at times competion gets violent...
modern women needs to understand ..for man it is very difficult to remain faithfull and pure in body and in mind......what the women expects now days it is against mans nature..it is like training the lion to eat grass thats what society is doing taming a wild animal.. i am sure the most faithful man in the world also looks at passing womens ooozing breast...bulging back side...and thinks wow what a sight.... ....if only i can have sex with her once...... because for men sex is a phycsical requirement....but for a women it is emotional..men canstill ove his wife very much and still have sex wiht another women....and not feel guilty....it is in his genes.....i mean no disrespect to women....but thats how we are made..where as women needs to be emotionally involved to have sex with a man...
I am a woman. I am a educated woman. I choose not to have children. I choose not to be married. I believe that every female child, adolescent, and adult has a right to protect their sexual and reproductive rights. The assumption that a female is innately born with emotional linkages to sexual behavior ignores the societal structures that promote gender discrimination. Your comment illustrates your tainted preception of women that is engulfed in cultural beliefs, that are not isolated beliefs, but very universal. Women are TAUGHT to define themselves through relationships. We are taught directly and indirectly that our social status and acceptance relies on marriage and children. Child brides are very much real in this day and age. And who do child brides marry? They marry older men. This is rape. Sexual abuse and domestic violence is associated with child brides. In this era of HIV/AIDS, 15-24 year-old females are the ones at high risk of the infection compared to their male counterparts. Child brides are more at risk of HIV infection than they unmarried counterparts. Why? Because child brides are most likely to NOT use contraceptives or birth control than their unmarried peers, and research is now indicating that the HIV infection rates of married adolescents are rising. And the next step for these child brides is pregnancy. Child brides are susceptible to health complications like stillbirth and obstetric fistula, just to name a few. Their young bodies are NOT developed to popular opinion. And in all of this, when does the young female adolescent attend school? Family is taught to be the #1 priority for the female. Education is just for men. Right? Wrong. Sex is a powerful tool of control and manipulation. In many traditional societies that promote child brides, they do not have extablished laws against rape in the marriage. Sex and eduation go hand in hand, and a female child needs to know her rights and choices.
A woman is a sexual creature. The clitoris is the sexual organ of the female. This is physiological not emotional. And in your world, I know that you are aware of female genital cutting. Tell me, besides the sexual trauma and PTSD associated with FGC, do you feel that sex for a woman is just emotional? Gender discrimination cuts a woman down physically, intellectually, and emotionally - it makes her incomplete. Her sexual and reproductive potentiality is lost in harmful traditional practices like early marriage. Education is the key. It is the only tool for a woman to reach her full potential, not a man and definitely not sex. To define infidelity as animalistic is ignorance. It is a choice. The one difference between animals and humans is they are more aware of their surroundings and development. |
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January 10, 2006, 5:22 pm PST
Quote From: rajkalra now a days we are lost..in the maze of modernism...and modern women...in olden days love use to blossom after marriage...............there use to be that element of surprise curiostiy anticipation ..but now adays the feelings of lust, teenage infatuation and peer pressure to be in love or to be in a relationship pushes man and women to make wrong choices.....
We in india were use to have arranged marriages ..yet our culture was very sexually active... We gave world kamasutra..... becuase then expression of and talking sex was not tabooed....but was encouraged..now boys and girls attain puberty without knowing what is it and how to react....the age old practice of getting married on puberty ...was safe and sound practice.....thats why till today in many culture attaianing puberty for a girl is celebrated in a big way..... in modern society we dont let our children marry at the tender age of 14-18 when the biological clock is ready sexually.....and moreover we expect them to remain virgin..till they get married.....sometime which is for next 10-15 years... the thing is we have to understand...even though human brain has developd and we have reached the moon...basicaly we are also part of the animal kingdon..and we still have the same animal instinct...as any other animal....and no mater how much we try to confine ourself to the so called law of the society.....our animal instinct and beahaviour takes over...we are no different from any lion tiger or a bison we still have the same desires....and we still fight for our mate and at times competion gets violent...
modern women needs to understand ..for man it is very difficult to remain faithfull and pure in body and in mind......what the women expects now days it is against mans nature..it is like training the lion to eat grass thats what society is doing taming a wild animal.. i am sure the most faithful man in the world also looks at passing womens ooozing breast...bulging back side...and thinks wow what a sight.... ....if only i can have sex with her once...... because for men sex is a phycsical requirement....but for a women it is emotional..men canstill ove his wife very much and still have sex wiht another women....and not feel guilty....it is in his genes.....i mean no disrespect to women....but thats how we are made..where as women needs to be emotionally involved to have sex with a man...
well, here in America, marriage is about two people and I as a wife who loves and respects her husband expects the same thing from him as well, I would never ever think about committing adultery for he is the only one I desire and believe it or not, he feels the same and we are happily married going on 13 years and still in love. people who committ adultery are selfish and have issues within themselves, maybe they have a bad relationship with their spouse but adultery is just plain wrong and even though I believe divorce is a cop out, the least these people can do is get out of the marriage before committing the sin called adultery.... Marriage is about two people committing to each other and for one to feel they have the right to break those vows, well, they are wrong and they are only fooling themselves if they believe this is ok. I and my husband are followers of God and as we read His word, we do the best that we can to follow it regardless of what society says is politically correct. I live in America and I expect to be treated with love, respect, dignity and honored by my husbnad and thank God I have that. Any one who feels that they can go out and cheat on their spouse and not feel guilty has no conscience. So, How do you feel about women who cheat on their husbands? I suppose men are so superior that they are the only ones who shouldn't feel guilty and that women are just a piece of property? Get over it, I am my husband's wife and to me I expect faithfulness just as I am faithful to Him. And any one with the love and desire to serve the Lord and to obey HIS commands can keep himself/herself to their spouse only, it is possible and actually very fullfilling, that's if the two of you are really in the marriage to please one another and not give one another reasons to go outside of the marriage. We were created to love and respect one another, exactly why we have marriage, a committment between TWO people, not any one who wants to intrude. |
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June 20, 2006, 6:36 am PDT
Quote From: rajkalra now a days we are lost..in the maze of modernism...and modern women...in olden days love use to blossom after marriage...............there use to be that element of surprise curiostiy anticipation ..but now adays the feelings of lust, teenage infatuation and peer pressure to be in love or to be in a relationship pushes man and women to make wrong choices.....
We in india were use to have arranged marriages ..yet our culture was very sexually active... We gave world kamasutra..... becuase then expression of and talking sex was not tabooed....but was encouraged..now boys and girls attain puberty without knowing what is it and how to react....the age old practice of getting married on puberty ...was safe and sound practice.....thats why till today in many culture attaianing puberty for a girl is celebrated in a big way..... in modern society we dont let our children marry at the tender age of 14-18 when the biological clock is ready sexually.....and moreover we expect them to remain virgin..till they get married.....sometime which is for next 10-15 years... the thing is we have to understand...even though human brain has developd and we have reached the moon...basicaly we are also part of the animal kingdon..and we still have the same animal instinct...as any other animal....and no mater how much we try to confine ourself to the so called law of the society.....our animal instinct and beahaviour takes over...we are no different from any lion tiger or a bison we still have the same desires....and we still fight for our mate and at times competion gets violent...
modern women needs to understand ..for man it is very difficult to remain faithfull and pure in body and in mind......what the women expects now days it is against mans nature..it is like training the lion to eat grass thats what society is doing taming a wild animal.. i am sure the most faithful man in the world also looks at passing womens ooozing breast...bulging back side...and thinks wow what a sight.... ....if only i can have sex with her once...... because for men sex is a phycsical requirement....but for a women it is emotional..men canstill ove his wife very much and still have sex wiht another women....and not feel guilty....it is in his genes.....i mean no disrespect to women....but thats how we are made..where as women needs to be emotionally involved to have sex with a man...
i WAS WITH YOU UNTIL THE LAST PARAGRAPH. I believe it is an excuse for men to say it is just sex and thats that. Because I'm a women I cant say I know the heartache it can cause a cheating man but I believe it happens for men and women to regret having an affair outside the marriage. No way is it okay for anyone to commit to monogomous relationship and indulge with another person. There needs to be a line where we draw the boundarys between ethics and simply lifestyle choices. Personally I know my husband has physical desires and even needs if you will. The difference between acting on spontinaity and holding off prudently is in the establishing of ones identity. You see yes animals and humans have the insatiable need for sex, however, humans unlike animals have the power of metacognition. We can "think" about our thinking and reach higher levels of understanding. Therefore, any man who blames their affair on the powers of their libido is simply to young and/or immature to have developed and reached their own identity. |
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June 20, 2006, 11:25 am PDT
Quote From: rajkalra now a days we are lost..in the maze of modernism...and modern women...in olden days love use to blossom after marriage...............there use to be that element of surprise curiostiy anticipation ..but now adays the feelings of lust, teenage infatuation and peer pressure to be in love or to be in a relationship pushes man and women to make wrong choices.....
We in india were use to have arranged marriages ..yet our culture was very sexually active... We gave world kamasutra..... becuase then expression of and talking sex was not tabooed....but was encouraged..now boys and girls attain puberty without knowing what is it and how to react....the age old practice of getting married on puberty ...was safe and sound practice.....thats why till today in many culture attaianing puberty for a girl is celebrated in a big way..... in modern society we dont let our children marry at the tender age of 14-18 when the biological clock is ready sexually.....and moreover we expect them to remain virgin..till they get married.....sometime which is for next 10-15 years... the thing is we have to understand...even though human brain has developd and we have reached the moon...basicaly we are also part of the animal kingdon..and we still have the same animal instinct...as any other animal....and no mater how much we try to confine ourself to the so called law of the society.....our animal instinct and beahaviour takes over...we are no different from any lion tiger or a bison we still have the same desires....and we still fight for our mate and at times competion gets violent...
modern women needs to understand ..for man it is very difficult to remain faithfull and pure in body and in mind......what the women expects now days it is against mans nature..it is like training the lion to eat grass thats what society is doing taming a wild animal.. i am sure the most faithful man in the world also looks at passing womens ooozing breast...bulging back side...and thinks wow what a sight.... ....if only i can have sex with her once...... because for men sex is a phycsical requirement....but for a women it is emotional..men canstill ove his wife very much and still have sex wiht another women....and not feel guilty....it is in his genes.....i mean no disrespect to women....but thats how we are made..where as women needs to be emotionally involved to have sex with a man...
Since you come from an entirely different culture I am going to cut you some slack and not say half of what I would like to say about the ridiculous opinions you shared here.
We humans may be part of the animal kingdom, but God gave us something he didn't give any other species - a conscience and the free will to make our own choices and decisions. These things have elevated us well beyond any "animal instincts and behavior". There is no excuse for a man to behave like a rooster in a hen house - none whatsoever. If you want that level of intelligence perhaps you can try to come back in your next life as a rooster, bull or gorilla alpha male.
Yes, I will agree for most men sex is a physical thing whereas for most women it is an emotional thing, but not always! However, that in no way excuses a man from the responsibility he has to his wife to remain faithful to the committment he made to her the day they married.
You sound very young to me. Hopefully you will reach a point in your emotional maturity that you will begin to understand that while you may feel excitement when you look at a woman besides your wife, you have the ability and responsibility to make the kind of choices an honorable man makes. Develop yourself beyond your juvenille impulses and become a man of integrity - or just don't get married. |
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