Quote From: czinger62Back when my husband and I were first married...I was ready for a child and he wasn't... A friend also made the suggestion that I "forget" to take my birth control pills. I knew that THAT would get me a date with the divorce attorney and I couldn't live with the guilt. However, I definitely understand the temptation of "forgetting" to take a pill.
My husband and I eventually got pregnant when my DH was ready, willing and able to be a father. He adores our child, and even though I would have preferred to have a couple of kids by this point ..I'm still glad I didn't take my friends advice.
Of course, I've seen this tired plot device in many a soap opera. Woman gets pregnant, man does the right thing. Is this part of where women are getting the idea that having a baby solves everything? Many girls today have this mistaken idea that having a baby with someone solves all sorts of problems---when actually having a baby creates a whole new set of problems, and the children suffer and make more problems when they get older. It's OUR responsibility as parents, teachers, friends, and relatives to teach our future women to value themselves enough that having a baby to "get" a guy is NOT THE WAY. And getting a girl pregnant is NOT a reflection of manhood...especially if you are not supporting the mother and child financially and emotionally. You betcha I'm having a BIG talk with my daughter as soon as she's old enough.
My husbands step father taught him to NEVER trust a woman to say that she's on birth control or even that she's taking her pills regularly. I guess he was speaking from experience. He also told my husband to NOT marry anyone he got pregnant unless a paternity test establishes that he is indeed the father, and also that he really and truly wants to marry the mother...even without a child in the picture. Many of my husbands high school friends got married because their girlfirends were pregnant. All of them are divorced. What happened to the children?
I don't have a son, but my nephews are getting the lecture my husband got from his stepdad when the time comes. We may have to have this lecture early, as it is astounding that even in middle school....girls are THROWING themselves at my nephews and have no sense of dignity in regards to their sexuality, or their sense of self worth.
Dr. Phil, I hope you can do a follow up on these parents....
When we teach our daughters that " a baby will not solve everything" we are doing them, and they men that have relationships with them far more good than telling them " it takes two"..
